Get To Know Tahanee Sayyid, an Encourager of Self Love, Safe Sex, and Protecting Ourselves

Tahanee Sayyid is an author and relationship columnist, but above all, she is an advocate for self love and self esteem. Her book is called Lust Now, Cry Later, which discusses many aspects from mental illness to substance abuse to impulse that is natural in human nature. Her column for Everything Girls Love Magazine discusses the good, the bad, and the ugly of all types of relationships, including one with yourself.

When did you write your book?

The book took a total of 12 years to get published. I first wrote the book in 2008 and self published it. It did okay, but I felt that it didn’t reach its full potential. I didn’t really have the exposure that I needed because I was a self publisher. I decided to pull the book from the shelves and revamp it. A great friend of mine recommended that I get a literary agent (shoutout to Maxine Thompson) and I met her in 2010 or 2011. When I first met her, she had me rewrite my book four times. I didn’t get it published until about six years later. I was offered a total of 3 book deals that actually fell through. I was very persistent and didn’t give up, even though I wanted to. Writing is everything to me and I always have to have it in my life.

A lot of people asked me how I felt when writing my book, and honestly it was an emotional rollercoaster. At the time of writing it, I wouldn’t say that I was necessarily happy. I had to put myself in the position of eight different characters. I had to dig deep and become an abuser, a pedophile, a victim, a cheating wife or cheating husband. Those things were hard and sometimes it was difficult to break out of character. I dug deep because I wanted to give my readers that experience. I wanted them to feel like they know the character or that character is a replica of themselves.

How did you get into being a relationship columnist?

Growing up, I was fascinated with relationships. Whether it was marriages or dating or friendships, I felt myself always wanting to know the things that we could do to make our relationships better. I would watch my mom and dad who have been together for 43 years, and how they interacted, and I just became fascinated with what we could do to improve ourselves and our relationships. Human nature just always had me curious. I then looked at my own relationships, and just wanted to know more about other people. I started to do a lot of interviews trying to figure out these questions and that turned into me writing a column.

Tell me more about the things that you write about that comes from your passion.

I always tell people whenever someone gets involved in relationships, or interacts with people, the way that they are is always based on what they’ve been through, how they were raised, and where they came from. I believe a lot of disfunction starts from the home and if that isn’t corrected or isn’t noticed, people grow up to become unhealthy adults. We get involved in these toxic relationships because things were not dealt with when we were children. In my book, I talk about sexual abuse, and whether you realize it not, a lot of us have gone through situat