Husband , Son & The Balance
It brings me great joy to write to and for other mommies. Sharing our experiences is joyful, fulfilling and much needed. I enjoy sharing my authentic mommy truth. When I was not a wife or Chad's Mom, I prided myself on having it all together. Planning my day and it going accordingly was something that kept me going. The upward movement of goals was definitely a wonderful feeling. When I became pregnant I planned out how it all would be. One of my fantasies was of having a happy perfect family because I just knew everything would work just the way I wanted it. After all babies are Blessings so of course things would be as close to perfect as possible. But reality quickly sets in after the baby gets here and we can only do the best we can as we know how. Right! Thankfully, for the most part, all is well but there is a wise saying from the good book that's says, "The small foxes destroy the vine." So we should catch them early! So that brings me to the point of my blog title. The other day during a somewhat heated discussion with my dear husband, he blurted out that all I talk about is our son. When he said that I was taken aback because it seemed as if this feeling was building up in him for a while now. Our awesome son is 16 months and the joy of our lives, that's a given. However, we as a family have been through a lot these past couple of months. We moved from Stamford Connecticut to Florida due to my hubby getting a great job promotion opportunity. Although I have family in Florida, I feel like I uprooted my whole life, being a New York City girl and all. I decided to take one for the team by moving to Florida. We decided to hold off on daycare until our son can talk so I am with him 24/ 7 and very happy to be. However, with that he has become the true center of my world besides the Lord. Anything he does or says is the best thing to me. That being said, when my husband calls during the day to check in or when he comes home, I do speak a lot about what our son is doing new, etc. Now he never seemed bothered when we are discussing our baby boy. But little did I know he was resenting the fact that I don't spend as much time or act just as enthusiastic about what he has going on with work or with his life. I am now making a conscious effort to give my husband his time to vent and tell me all about his day without me interrupting and speaking about our son. It's had I must admit but it's necessary. I let him finish all that he has to tell me first, have our conversation about what he shared then I speak about our son and of course the things I have going on. It is a true effort because as moms we gush over our babies and expect the same response from their fathers but it is a little different for them. As wives and mothers, we wear so many hats. It is what it is, we just have to make an effort to let our husbands still feel heard, loved and cared about. As men, they don't talk much anyway but, when they do let's give them their time! It is very important as we don't want any type of resentment to build up in them. If they are good Fathers they will gladly be eager to hear about their child's adventures after he has had his moment. On top of that add a date night once a week or every other week and remind each other why you both fell madly in love in the first place. Balancing husband and child time will take practice but hey practice makes perfect right! Moms always remember we are superstars! We got this!