Things Moms Can't Say

Editor's note: this is the first in a series of "Things X Can't Say"; whether its Moms, Dads, Women, Men, etc - all about how we feel judged for our decisions when we really need to lift each other up in support. If you have something you would like to write, please email me at

Last week I was sitting at a kid sports thing and was texting a girlfriend who was also sitting at a kid sports thing and we were commiserating about our mom commitments. At first it was the usual back and forth banter between moms, but then it turned serious; she told me it was suffocating her. We agreed to meet up (on her back patio, because, kids) for a glass of wine after sports things and discuss further.

Being a mom is an experience that varies for everyone. As a mom of two kids, ages 8 and 9 years old, I’ve met loads of moms. Moms like to talk about being moms and because of this, I’ve heard tons of mom testimony, and they are all different. For the most part, mom testimony is positive. It includes all of the pride and joy they get from their little pride and joys. I see women in my mom network posting their highlight reel in social media to back up their mom testimony. And for the most part, I believe them. I truly believe there are women who LOVE being a mom and find joy and fulfillment in every single moment of their mom experience.

I am not one of those moms.

It has taken me 9.5 years to be okay with this. I’m just not that mom. Does it mean I love my kids less than Joyful Mom? HECK NO.